The Charles Schulz Philosophy

The following is the philosophy of Charles Schulz, the creator of the 'Peanuts' comic strip. You don't have to actually answer the questions. Just ponder on them. Read the e-mail straight through, and you'll get the point.

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world. 
2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners. 
3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America pageant. 
4  Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize. 
5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress. 
6. Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners.

Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school. 
2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time. 
3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile. 
4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier?

The lesson:

None of us remember the headliners of yesterday.

These are no second-rate achievers; they are the best in their fields.

But the applause dies.

Awards tarnish.

Achievements are forgotten.

Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the
most credentials, the most money ... or the most awards.

They simply are the ones who care the most.

Now go spend some time with those crazy people you care about.
And who care about you.

Happy Weekend!

What have you done lately

In memory of KM

is it me....?

I have worked with my mate most of the year we have had visits from a few 'experts' and others who like to share their own brand of love (and I use that loosely )...so yet another person comes along to see my mate and help guide us in the direction of communication.....

lets go back to May when  lost the plot after one of these visits... accentually she bagged the shit out of all my work and told others to tell me to take it all down and have a blank canvas...I shot the messenger and the relationship hasn't been the same since nor will it ever be....

I wasn't involved in the initial chat, it was a case manger chat...I was asked to produce my mate on cue, produce my folder of a million photos used in communication ......then told to make a strip with '' I want a ...." and a box for one of my photos.......the case manager said yes we could do that, my mate took the folder found the card of him and I gave it to the lady gave me a big hug, put his face to mine for a kiss (never done that before), the grabbed the 'water play' card and signed I want...... all stuff I have been self teaching myself and him to do...... 

the lady left to visit another classroom and the case manger looked at e and said '' are you ok? you look like you are about to cry''

'' No I am not going to cry (here anyway, I do that on the way home) but why didn't you tell her we / my mate and the people who work with him know all she told us?'' 

''because she is new and she hasn't worked with him.....let her see him and then she can guide us...she is bringing someone else to guide her to guide us''

I spoke up...I never speak up......

why are you wasting her time and ours? my mate can do that we NEED him to be able to sit and WORK...he can tell us he wants water play, sandpit, toilet and everything else he needs too!!!!!!

I told her I'd make a sign for me '' I want (his picture) to sit down and work" she laughed, so did I or I would have lost it big time, I gathered my stuff and left shaking my head... 

.......................................

on a post note I received a text from BB early yesterday, a year 9 girl had committed suicide  on Wednesday, according  to those who know, she told her mum she was unwell and mum let her stay home, she text her boyfriend she wouldn't be at school told him she loved him, then overdosed...... her mum and little brother found her after school....heartbreaking.....I ask why would a 14 year old think that was the only way? then I remember me and 14 and ''FRINGE'' lets leave that for another blog post....but I understand fully why...

hug your kids xx

lacking

I am lacking some spark in my job...I love what I do...I love my mate who I spend 90% of my time with, the planning, the work load I love all of it ....

just something isn't right and I don't know what it is....I feel like I am just going thru the motions everyday.

I have tried to put a positive spin on things...tried looking to the future I put it to the universe but still it isn't in my heart any more ...I listen to Usher singing forever is a long, long, long, long time and that is right it is a long time to not feel right each day.. :{

Poke in the eye..

I will never use THAT saying again.....OMG pain like I've never known....

I was all gun hoe ready to go back, I did receive a few phone calls but not the place I wanted so I politely declined and got my shit mentally and physically ready, only to try and close the green waste bin lid at 5am..and cope a palm prong in the eye...I did go to school I stopped four times on the way to be told to go home before my mate saw me..

The doctor put some drops in and instantly the pain went..then he put two more lots of drops in and after the 3rd lot the pain came back slowly , he told me I couldn't keep the eye numb in case I hurt it further and couldn't feel it.

So two days off work and it still aches but its bearable with sunnies on.. my mate keeps taking them off looking into my eyes... :)

My desk and wonderful new resources were where I left them Monday morning, and no data collected...but that will reflect their faults not mine..I have turned a page I am worthy of my job, I have made a difference instead of pretending I don't and allowing them take my credit I am finding my back bone and allowing myself to shine....not sure they like it but self preservation.

I am telling them what I have done and reinforcing my place as his aide  !!! roll on tern 4 xx

for once

 

I am going back ....I didn't hear from the job ...watch the buggers ring this week...I did get an email from a natural childcare centre opening in late 2012 walking distance away, so that may still be a positive.
Using the weekend to start the bibs and bobs I started over the holidays, I am enjoying  my art again and looking at new ways to be mind and body healthy.

I think it may be time to appreciate what I have and embrace that...

Losing myself in Art

Pain

Oh I am so sick of the pain.....I have had bleeding for the most part of the last 11 months. I had a Mirena fitted in May and this was the super duper fit it I needed...BS....

Pain and bleeding continue daily I have been given medication stronger than Panadine Forte and it barely touches it....

So as summer approaches I am to go back in my short skirt and be fabulously cured and have not periods or pain...for the next 5 years.....

I will be honest I am ready to rip it out myself, I am just to fat to bend over and do it!!!! so my friend Dr Google is a minefield of horror stories and stats on pain thresholds,happy endings and every other thing in between, one lady attributes her being unable to walk from autoimmune disease caused by the Mirena ..I wouldn't go that far but it is time to come out and look at the only option I have good-bye girls bits!!! 

Vague

I have been very vague about a lot of things of late self preservation....

I have been reflecting ...is it time to move on? I have the standard tears, the shit, fuck, poo bums, the apples oranges and the rest!!!!

So is it time to move on??? I have applied for my AEIOU job again I was in a shitty mood and just did it one morning at some ungodly hour...this time thou it finishes today so I am hoping for a call soon and things to be sorted over the holidays (wishful thinking????) I have a key to the room and a plan in mind.....so come the first day back they will have a refreshed me willing to keep going or a key and letter on the desk....with a thanks but it was time to move on.....

Only those that need to know will know...oh they will be the only admin that doesn't do OS holidays EVERY holiday together P, DP, 3 x teachers...mine being one of them....and while it was fun being in the loop it inst when you are a details person and they are a big picture person...

Living Simply...x

So, I'll tell you all about my little Trailer by the Sea dream.....

yep stinking hot summer, freezing cold winter, bike to ride to town....fresh fish and veg....Halo....no phones (they'd need to write real letters).....

One day for one month I'd love to live like this and never come home xx

Family Ties....

Gosh the tears have started before even starting this post...it is about the shifting connection within our family and our family I mean mine....(nee ??? yep that one)

My childhood wasn't that great I can only remember bits and thru therapy can talk about other bits....for me it was hard, we didn't have a lot of money, we didn't have an extended family just mum, dad, bro, sis and me....my dad's parents came to live in Australis when we were small but that is it, they passed when I was 8 and 16.....so I didn't get a 'this is how you do families', with aunts and uncles, cousins were a million miles away..so as I grew older and moved from home I always made a point of 'doing the right thing' well what I thought was the right thing...visits the day before special events so I could please everyone. Made sure gifts were given at the right time even if they had to be hand made...I had doosy fights with DA a lot of times.....I went on my own in tears a lot of times I came home in tears, but I did it, not for brownie points but for me..... (treat others how you would like to be treated and all that!!!)

so this year my boys have serious GF's....as stated before....these are now included in my life....I tried to organise something with my whole family..... and got mixed answers...fair enough we all have shit on...but when I can see the posts have been read and not responded makes my blood boil FB voyeuristic people are my second peeve!!!!

so I said eff it I'll change my style and shift from nee family to my growing family, I have cut one side of my (and I use that term lightly thanks to marriage) family off....I wont go that far but I will not bother to include and change others to my way of doing things, it hurts too much and I don't want to...if you can't fit me in your life so be it, don't expect me to fit into yours....I have plenty to give around but it is no longer going to be wasted nor is it going to have the opportunity to be abused!!! 

This along with my other 'get to' blogs have kept me away from blogger...my blog is open, my friends and foes can see, again I let someone else's feelings change me and my way....no more change is good but changing your core doesn't work it just cost shit loads in medication...!!!

My baby and HIS car

my baby has a car, he needs a manual and we all drive automatics

 a car that was promised to him if he completed year 12 ( 'I' needed one child to go all the way ), he whinged and bitched everyday he got picked up I want a car, I want a car....turns out my idea of a car and his were well $1500 datto vrs a $15000 VE commodore...and there were LOTS of heated discussions.

Blame for indulging him, blame for starting him off, he is the baby and the baby gets everything.....

So after months and months of carrying on and his 100 hours in 5 1/2 months he got his car...he came home after a day with his mates and told us he had ''lowered his standards'' priceless well not really just a willing to drop it to $10000 ????  he had to save his money which he did, this from a kid that can KEEP money in his pocket and WONT spend it and hand over whatever money he had saved (I did try to get him to spend it so it would cost he dad more but men )....I tried to tell him a car was going to cost him, his car his responsibility's..... still no budge he kept looking and looking ringing and being disappointed, hippy mum kept saying there is car out there waiting for you, it will find you.... (f-off mum)

He got the car, he got to pay transfer fees, rego, road worthy mechanic, insurance  (IN HIS NAME , HIS CAR!!!) , a battery why is it they always died just after you buy them? we gave him $20 for petrol because we felt sorry for him, he has no money, he can't drive it by himself but he can look at a piece of responsibility he has never had !!!! a different way to teach him about life...

Child A had to buy his own car, he does have a $10000 car he saved every penny for..he owns it no dept / loan even from us..he was / is super pissed he had to buy his own (yes he was promised a car if he stayed at school ) he has to pay for his TAFE and every bit of study he does.....yes he does and when he finishes we WILL give him all the money he has paid out for schooling.....a lesson he will learn humble pie he will eat...a learning curve and OUR way of parenting our children, it may not be right in your eyes but we are doing and will do the best we can...x

Dear Children,
LB I apologize for having my phone on silent ( I thought its what all the cool kids did ) and for not having a drink so I could safely take you out at 8 pm to a party where you could drink when you finally got your shit together, I also am sorry for missing your phone calls at 6.28 this morning I'd thought I could have a sleep in since you don't normally move at my house until 10 or

 until you smell food!!!!AJ I also am sorry for not answering my phone after I had come back home and fell asleep, I stupidly thought since you are never home you wouldn't bother to contact me while you finally had the chance to drop all responsibility and enjoy some time away from me.... Who knew in the real world just when I'd accepted the rules they would add new ones to the manual I never received when you were born these are the joys of my morning now DA needs me too

 love mum x
Ps when Halo & I live simply we won't have phone connection x

Young Love

ok here goes....

AJ and Eb are engaged ...they have been since earlier this year x Get up off the floor and read the rest x

he is just 18 she is 16, he is my big boy, he was away a few (6) hours drive away and was texting me like crazy about what he should do, how he should do it (I wish I kept the conversation)

In the end I told him it was his choice, he was a big boy and big boys had to make choices themselves AND face whatever those choices bring....so he asked she said yes a ring was bought, she wears it with al the love and pride we all did !!!

Yes they fight, yes they argue, they both have lived lives beyond anything I have, experienced a different kind of pain, which from memory brings a sweet glow when the good times come along, a passion to embrace the good unfortunately the scares of the past are very deep but now they have each other and that make me  and them smile.

There is a flip side to all the glow, it is called a mother's pain at watching someone else share her babies heart...another woman that they want to see smile at all cost (even hurting and swearing at mum).

The pain is excruciating at times.... the happy face must be put on, I don't want to dampen the newness and excitement for them....they baby sit and I get a little glimpse of what will be if they are blessed...fat chubby babies, cute tears and temper tantrums when they leave (from me)....

for right now they are happy, no planning for 'the day', no planning for 'babies' just enjoying the silly things of squishy photos of faces, late night trips for ice cream at the servo....

who am i to take that away????????????

and it is ok to say NO !!

sit and write

• my baby and his car
• my big boy and his girlfriend
• his girlfriends family
• shifting tides within my immediate family vrs my nee family
• work and moving on
• sick and medication
•  living simply

1/2 hearted

yep about life.....I am sick as a dog have been in bed since Saturday lunch time, both ends letting me know it.
tingling fingers sore throat chest pains.....xxx

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I truly appreciate that you are here, spending a little bit of your valuable time with me and my thoughts.

Sincerely,

e x

click click

I know most school have them it seems they are everywhere in life....I see them everywhere, within the class, the playground and worst of all the staff room.....Ours is mainly upper school vrs lower school, 

Any hoot my little man has been away for about 11 days in the last month so I have had time to find other things to do....As I was minding my own business yesterday another aide asked me to shop and chat....she wanted to know how I got on with admin and she mentioned members of the lower school click....I looked at her and said, ''pass....next question" I didn't get a question I got a lot of what I had been feeling and as she works with upper school there has been rumblings from them too....

It is nice in a reassuring way to know others see things I do..I would never stop and ask someone else like she did but.....I have had a feeling of watching my own back, sucking it up and getting on with my job....

Four Jobs I Have Had:

•  intimate apparel maker
• Macca
• Toilet cleaner Redbank Plaza
• nanny

Four Places I Have Lived:

• Wales
• Bellbird Park
• Collingwood Park
• Camira

Four Movies I Could Watch Again and Again:

• Aristacats
• Grease
• Lion King
• Marie Antoinette

Four Television Shows I Love:

• Home and Away
• Bold and The Beautiful
• Happy Days
• Mother and Son

Four Authors I Enjoy:

• * Miranda Lee
• Penny Jordan

Four Places I Have Travelled To:

• UK
• Sydney
• Cairns
• Melbourne

Four Blogs Visit Daily:

• Lee
• Leah
• Kathrine
• MIS

Four Websites I Visit Weekly:

• Suncorp
• 
  

Four of My Favorite Foods:

• Cheese
• Jatz
• Kabana
• onions

Four Places I'd Rather Be:

• Maldives
• Seychelles
• Palazzo Versace
• Bed

101

we sat around the dinner table just us four....no one rushing out the door....phones at the table were banned....

like screaming kids in shopping centres I get it, don't wish it away wanting something different

treasure every moment even the bad ones...

I got a few words of wisdom from MR18...don't say good-bye it means forever say see you later Oh and I love you mummy x

not alone

Since my boy has hit the big 18 he has not slept at home, his girlfriend lives around in the next street, to be honest it is pissing me off. I know he is 18 and I know he can do what he wants, I know he doesn't HAVE to tell me what he is doing and where he is going!!!!! 

If I hear it again I will seriously slap someone hard! Mr B and I have had many 'talks' about it and I am always in the wrong, an over protective, noisy, parent, after all we didn't tell our parents everything!!! no WE DIDN'T but we didn't have a phone in our pocket and we did respect the boundaries set, we didn't let a meal sit on the side uneaten, we didn't leave a massive pile of washing like a stealth bomber, the only way I know he is still alive, is the fact I wash his undies!

So I went to work and found a friend who has a daughter past 18, I casually asked how she felt when C turned 18 and if it is normal to feel like I do..? her reply floored me......her daughter is 21 next Monday!!! suck up the 18 part :} I had to laugh she is 3 years younger than me....!!!! In all seriousness she did help me out, I mulled it over for the day and sat on the bed when MR18 came home, I sat until he thru down the phone and listened.......

RULES

1. I pay for the phone in the pocket, use it to let me know if you are home for tea or not (before I cook)!

2. I don't care if you sleep out....... just say good-bye and let me tell you I love you!

3. If you head out far away let me know, I don't want to think you are in bed and see you wheeled out of a shopping centre on a stretcher on TV cause some loony shot you.

4. Give me a hug, every now and then....she isn't the only one who likes you arms around her!!!

rush.........

I had my PDP / PR meeting it was meant to be at the end of the day...Mrds was away so I got in earlier but it was a rushed door open meeting with lots of walk pasts and head pokes...(suited me because I hate one on one attention anyway)

I had lost my form I sent in term one totally forgot my goals and wish list......when she asked about my personal goal I had to admit I forgot what it was.....she reminded me and yes I could agree I was working on that and it would forever be an on going one!!!

Literacy and Maths working well, elearning no go but a massive swing to iPads and ASSISTED COMMUNICATION so won brownie points :}

My PR.....well I wasn't too hard told her if it wasn't for Mrds I would have walked long ago, I dislike the P (wanker), and I seem to be lost the school, I don't mind going under the radar but the TA timetable changes have made catching up to vent very hard.....we seem to be all on duty and can't stand around talking then or busting our butts.... all TA's have full duty on first break and staggered lunches thru the day....I also comment that one of the acting SWDT is very patronising and I love giving it back to her!!!! she asked for an example....

Tuesday :

SWDT: hi Mrs B

Me: how are you? 

SWDT: stands at my desk......I have a meeting in Corinda at 2 I will drop Mrds back 10 mins early from break so I am not late.

Me: fine, but tell CT I am in year 5/6 then and wont be here.

SWDT: stood for 10 seconds looking at me......... well I will be late for my meeting, it doesn't matter if I walk in late, everybody turns to look at me because I am always late!!!! You did it every time last term why have YOU changed your times?

ME: Um the split lunch set up.......and I work with Mrds not own him, CT will be here and there is an abundance of stuff for him to do.....how about you let her know and I will leave something I know he likes out so he will sit for a while until I get back?

SWDT: well that will have too do...I am not being late!!!!!!!!!!!

she dropped Mrds back without a word...CT turned around and he was happily using the playdough..!!!

so the DP was a little shocked at that, she is treated with respect by the acting SWDT and EXPECTS that she treats everyone within the school the same. She will be having words with her....

back to me and glowing glowing glowing feedback from everyone very professional and hunky dory....!!!! You wouldn't say that if you could read my blog........xx

i am struggling that my son is 18........is it because i have done my job and have 18 months and 19 days as a mother???? I know they always will need me but he can make choices without me and I must let him......
this is what he came home with last night !!!!!

When one is at a crossroads in life, what does one do? If you’re standing on the Path and you’ve come to a fork in the road, you might notice yourself saying, “Ahh! What do I do? Do I go left, do I go right, or do I just go straight..?” How does one know which step to take towards which direction? Here are some helpful tips on how to navigate through the scenery of life with the most Trust, Knowing and Faith.

1. I’m extremely and ridiculously blessed. Everywhere I go and every step I take, I am showered with gifts from angels that are sometimes and usually, disguised as humans. They always show me the way. A few months ago I was recently at a crossroads myself. I didn’t know which way to turn—I was torn between option A, option B and option C.

I have three things in my life I turn to when I am seeking words of guidance and solace. One is The Bhagavad Gita—this holy book has the answer to any question I may be seeking. The other two are people who have been and are on this Path whom I trust and deeply respect. The responses I received from them were 1., “Be fully at the crossroads,” and 2., “My dear, decisions are of the ego. Rest on the shores of the surrendered Self.”

Everything you do and seek should, if meant to serve your highest being, will turn and point back towards your own self.

2. The questions I ask myself when I’m at a crossroads are:
Am I happy?
Am I free?
Do I feel held and supported?
If any answers to these questions are a “no” then move towards where your inner and outer worlds respond to as a “yes.”

3. Pray, Meditate, Practice

Spiritual practice is designed for the human being to realign with the highest possibility of what life has to offer. What a grand statement! I know. But alas, tis true. So we practice, we practice, practice, practice. We consistently and constantly come back to the practice. Why? To reset, restart, and remember for those shifts to begin and take place. After a while of practicing, those “shifts” begin to embody and settle deep into your system. Once planted and integrated to a certain degree, it never leaves. Then, it just becomes about deepening. Widening and deepening. Deepening, deepening, deepening. Keep on practicing.

4. Here’s a statement to remind yourself everyday: You are not in control. Of anything! Whew, what a relief, right? Can you imagine what life would be like if we were the conductors of it all—this great big gigantic universe? Jeez, what a job. No thanks. If you’re a control freak, you have to get over it—real quick. The sooner the better. Do yoga that helps in opening your hips and jaw. Especially around your femur bones. If the door says pull, pushing won’t do you any good.

5. Have fun! You can only plan for so much. Sometimes plan, but sometime wing it. Your only job is to listen and respond to the call. If you feel like you can’t hear—well, get better at listening. So, open your heart, sing your song and dance…fully!!

thorn in my side....

Ok I get I am fabulous, my work is wonderful, the kids love me thrive when I work with them.....

well really I DON'T get it at all.

what I do get is a HOSE from across the 4 schools we work with coming out  to see the acting SWD teacher and them sitting in MY SPACE with all my visuals that I have made talking about how far Mrds has come watching him sign for things, playing with me laughing, knowing the boundaries within the class good and bad, looking thru my auslan book on MY desk!!!!!

The the fucking cheek of the teacher coming back later in the day .....I walk in to her leaning across my desk taking photos of the visuals and other things I have, then moving shit on MY desk to find more.......

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS???????????? When she saw me she nearly fell off the desk, she mumbled she is heading to a meeting tomorrow (today) and the HOSE wanted her visuals??? I told her to take them and show them (they have MY name on the  back) ..........no she said I will need them !!!!

yes I am the little mouse within our school community, I don't talk or put myself out there, I sit quietly and get things done not for me for the kids....but taking my credit is starting to piss me off twice in two weeks.....your pushing your luck or me outta there.

Funk I get it

I work my butt off at school because I want to I do stuff at home for school because it makes my job easier.... I really love my job, working with kids that spit on you swear at you I get it I think I envy them most of the time who doesn't want to scream f off more than once a day?
I have created so many cards to assist in communication with my non verbal friend another teacher took all the credit for it when the specialist came out I was upset that she did that not for the kudos she go but because I did it I have even started to put my name stickers on thinks I make so no body else claims them
The OSHC girl came up to look at my stuff she commented on the cards and set up I have then told me she did some work experience for AEIOU and my little corner looks like akin centre I think I heard my heart break right then .....
Unlike Lee I don't have the self confidence to put my self out there I wish I did !! I wish I could set my mind and just leave closer to home more money less shit more up my ally ....
I have to have my PDR as soon as I make a time I'm scared to go into a meeting normally I have time to walk away from MLF to pee now I don't I have 7 duties a week but I do get my 30 mins a day for lunch
So funk is my word too I wont even go into home only to say thank goodness for quality drugs x

Are you serious

Yep I hid under the doona for two days with the help of my doctor who struggles at times to understand how I get thru the day and night so is it any wonder I struggle too.
I also finally enrolled in my dip of counseling I have decided only I can go forward I really would like to be an art therapist and to do that I need this
When I was away I received a few messages 1 about how wonderful my college is with all her hard work with Mrds another. About replacing me the third how someone has come along and commented about how far Mrds has come nothing from the class teacher not even a reply to my txt
It makes me so motivated to work on my study to open doors for myself

now  for some reason I have torn the family apart...
Nana is up to her old tricks again stealing  money from her house guest, another trip to sort it out...
5 hours later I get told I am the cause of the family divide...well me and my blog.....
are you fucking serious...??? Oh yes, I can see you are funny thou I have finally let go of the in laws and they are now stuck where I used to be .....
lets see how they like it because I am NOT budging this time not ever again!!!
CONTROL FREAKS all of them!!!!

Fucking over it!!!

Omg really over it, I have been waking at night with tingling lips and numb hands !!! Physically I feel ready to snap everything seems to be on top of me I am very short tempered with Mrds and anyone who looks at me sideways. I am not bailing the teacher out or stopping to pick up after her I am doing my job and my job only coming in at 7.45 and leaving at 3.30 to work my ADOs up!!!!
I told DA and all I get is shit back at me.... This is the closest I have got to leaving him I just dont want to put up with his whining and bitching about money the floor being dirty the cat fluff !!!!!
I told him today I feel on the edge his response was to go on and on about a scratch in the wall then about how I could have done it vacuuming and I need to be carful I dont hit the fridge or dishwasher will he care when I am in a mental home ????? Or 6 feet under

and it will.....

20 Things You Shouldn't Tolerate

By Jason Wachob

Have you ever felt that you've been settling for less -- that you  deserve better? You'll want to check out this list of 20 things you shouldn't tolerate from Marc and Angel Hack Life:

1. People who bring you down.

2. A work environment or career field you hate. 

3. Your own negativity

4. Unnecessary miscommunication.

5. A disorganized living and working space. 

6. Your own tardiness. 

7. Pressure to fit in with the crowd. 

8. An unhealthy body. 

9. Fear of change.

10. All work and no play. 

11. People or beauty ads that make you feel inadequate.

12. Not getting enough sleep. 

13. Doing the same exact thing over and over again. 

14. Personal greed. 

15. A mounting pile of debt.

16. Dishonesty.

17. Infidelity.

18. An unsafe home.

19. Being unprepared. 

20. Inaction.

What do you think? 

if teacher aide's said what they think on playground duty!!

all in jest ..well most of the time :)

I hurt my finger.... and you want me to pander to you like your mum? harden the fuck up!!!

They wont let me play.....if you whined like that at me I wouldn't let you play either!!!

What time does the library open at first break? (every Monday I get this from the same kid)

Library? Library? what did I tell you last time, get your note book out and take notes this time !!!

Has the bell gone?......would I be standing out here looking like a twat if it had? No!!!!


Where's your hat? and don't give me the same bullshit you give me every time FFS, if you don't have it next time you will sit under the building now go play somewhere else!!


Stop running!!!!!!  Fuck I have a cheap imported taser  that looks like a phone, don't make me use it!!!!!

can you open this....?  stand there........can you open this?.....can you use your manners PLEASE? THANKS !!

we filled a bag with rubbish (or stalk me waving the bag at me as I continue to ignore them).....if you ask for a gold star you aren't supposed to get one...but ssshhh don't tell anyone I am awesome so I will give you one :)!! 

PROMPT 3

List five songs that will make you feel like dancing or moving your body.

1. Now I Can Dance ....Tina Arena
Just when I wish I was free...!!

2. You Shook Me All Night Long ..... AD/DC
Brings longing...hahahaha !!!!

3. R.E.S.P.E.C.T .......Aretha Franklin

Normally with lots of finger pointing!!

4. Fireworks ...Katy Perry 
Makes me laugh and cry at the same time, I taught MLF this for graduation!!!


5. Old Time Rock~n~Roll..... Bob Seger
Who hasn't tried to do this?? I have shiny wooden floors now :)


xx

Prompt 2.

What is your greatest accomplishment in life so far?

Gosh I am picking corkers...

I struggle with this,,, as most people say my kids...but I don't see having  my kids as an accomplishment, really most females can have children......it is what we were born to do. Yes I understand some struggle with getting pregnant and some fall easier....Then others say marriage but again people do that everyday the world over, on beaches, in church, in Vegas!!!

So I would have to say my greatest accomplishment is keeping the two all together....having kids is easy (for it was) watching them grow and guiding them is the hard bit. I have done the parenting courses, been to see specialists, school interviews and only being told to calm down once by the principal in 14 years is good!!!

Knowing when to jump in and when to hold back is hard I want to do everything for them, I don't want them to know hardship, pain and all the nasties the world brings I want to shelter them....make all the wrongs right!!!! I know that is not helping at all, so standing back and supporting their choices being here as their soft place, holding my tongue, watching them fail is my accomplishment !!!

Next is marriage .....Oh how many times have I been tempted to walk out the door??? Too many to count, when the boys were small I always said I couldn't take the boys from their dad, now that isn't the case we would argue who can keep them in court (just kidding) Yes DA is a prize wanker at times, most of the time I just block it out, I remember going to the doctor in tears saying the disability stuff is doing my head in .....through tears and tissues she asked my what was wrong....then told me as she patted my knee "It's not a disability thing love, it is a man thing!!''

As I watch my boys with their girlfriends (thou one has popped the question and there is a ring ( that is my over sharing comment I'm not ready)) I find the balance of being on their side and the warm and fuzzy feeling of also sticking up for the girls, whispering in their ears about how a man should treat them (yes even if it is my son)....!!!!

I dare say the struggle will always be there, always be nipping at my heels, I know it is a down hill run the balance will shift, new boundaries set....and I will continue being me!!

xx 

Journal Jar Prompt 1.

Write about the saddest good-byes you remember.

wow not sure if this means final good-byes or just you had to say good-bye for a time??

I am going to pick the latter.

I was 16 and had just about finished my 6 week tour of England and Wales with my mum, we had met all the relatives she wanted me to meet and travelled just a little bit ourselves, I had seen London at night, Stonehenge before the tourist trade, we parked in a dusty car park and walked around the stones...no nothing.

I stayed with mum's sister and her dad lived up the road but came down every day. We had a 3 hour drive to the airport in the afternoon...so all day to have that dreaded gut feeling of finality ...

Grandad didn't come to the airport, he said good bye at the house...it was awful in 6 weeks this big bear of a man with very little material wealth gave me so much more, he showed me love, paying for my photos from his mere pension, gave me a trinket from his house on the last day....and stood at the window with tears in his eyes as we got in the car.

I remember his scratchy jacket, his old man smell of classic after shave. I remember my heart breaking for him.

I did see my grandad again, he came to visit me in Australia when I was 18, he was here for my engagement, when I went for driving lessons....
I have since said a final good bye to him.....but can be trasported back in time to the window in a heart beat.

xx

Lost

Having serious over sharing issues.... Think it is time for the journal prompt jar ....xxx

he is staying another week.....after a hundred texts and phone calls he has chosen to stay in Gladstone despite many requests to come home....not much more we can say or do.....

Mother

I jump out of bed, I don't know what time it is..the home phone is ringing, I have been asleep for a while I know it is late......

I say hello and hear my sons tears....he is at the hospital, his girlfriend fainted, she was bleeding he didn't know what to do! He freaked out, her dad and his girlfriend helped him get her to the hospital, his voice cracks again, I slowly find the cold leather sofa but don't feel the cold, I am calm I reassure him, now I am speaking to the dad's girlfriend, she is telling me she knows nothing...x and y are with her, food poisoning is mentioned....  

I don't know who x and y are I tell her......the mum and dad.....she will look after him they are in the car park outside both stunned, both helpless strangers not knowing what to do!!!!!

I tell him I will turn my phone on so he can text me....

he does 1/2 hour later, she is fine he has spoke to her, he is not leaving without her.....

another 1/2 hour I get another text, he needs more time off and money, he is not coming home without her....ok I type get some rest we love you....

another 1/2 hour goes by another text....she has to stay over night, he is not coming home without her....can she stay with us?  

I text  will talk in the morning.....

OMG ...... I thought teething and school teacher interviews were hard....

fuck me!!!!!

Springfield to Gladstone....... no I am not going...... 

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Total distance:559.83kmTime:about 6 hrs 19 min

Torn into pieces..... I feel like I am standing on the outside of my life watching it go by. The weekends are a blur of running here and there the school/work days run into each other each with its own set of problems to be solved and not many people sticking their hand up to help.
All the aides have been maximized due to the EB, well all that they can be and one lady was left off the list and came to the meeting and begged yes begged for an extra 45mins a fortnight. Once they tell me my hours are changing I need to work out the how and where my days is otherwise i am up all night thinking hours kids and timetables.
I am happy to go with the flow happy to share the hours happy to change from one hour to the next... And it seems just as we spent the whole last week working out times, classes and split lunch breaks the reason they were leaving my TT blank on all the group emails is because they were waiting for the OA hours ....I scored 7 more hours a fortnight the reason they gave me because not only am I good at my job I don't whine and bitch about the hours and that is the key to getting ahead so now I am the number 2 aide and I kinda like it!!!
We will see how it all works out the first week back.

Blogs to write:
Tax time money
The next jobs at home
I've gone off white
Going into month nine of pads

a day trip....

yep 50 kids, 2 teachers, 6 parents, 1 teacher aide......

a day trip to the SunFay restaurant !!!! we had to get off at Indro, I am thinking the Restaurant near BBC and another 20 min walk, but they have a 'little' very 'little' shop tucked next to the station..... 

we marked the roll, counted, grouped lined up, and counted again.....then we walked the 10 min walk to the station...we sat in the waiting room for 25 mins....

While MrDS's dad came and took MrDS out...way too much for him poor love, I had ''the group''

I had the group the CT was having but she played the delicate job of controlling the parents and their need for food and control...

The food came out in stages....7 of them......it was put on the lazy susan, only adults to touch.....and all six kids hands went straight to it.....I played mum then silently said fuck it they need to be independent as long as I get first dibs on the food go for your lives......I don't know how many times I saw the spoon licked and put back.....i don't know how many sookie looks I saw probably the same number as I said through a mouth full of food ''talk to each other, it is about the shared celebration of sharing a meal not just about getting food on your plate first''......(that is my job)!!!!!!

The trip home was a lot better except for the dog turd on the path.....(no I didn't) and MrDS just beet us back so I had a great day, chill-axing with him xx

3 days..x

just going day by day...I am so worn out mentally, physically, spiritually.....yet the days get busier and busier I fell asleep on the lounge yesterday while watching Totally Wild....then had to listen to the two A's fight ....Oh to be in the middle of that some low blows on both sides xx