I have worked with my mate most of the year we have had visits from a few 'experts' and others who like to share their own brand of love (and I use that loosely )...so yet another person comes along to see my mate and help guide us in the direction of communication.....
lets go back to May when lost the plot after one of these visits... accentually she bagged the shit out of all my work and told others to tell me to take it all down and have a blank canvas...I shot the messenger and the relationship hasn't been the same since nor will it ever be....
I wasn't involved in the initial chat, it was a case manger chat...I was asked to produce my mate on cue, produce my folder of a million photos used in communication ......then told to make a strip with '' I want a ...." and a box for one of my photos.......the case manager said yes we could do that, my mate took the folder found the card of him and I gave it to the lady gave me a big hug, put his face to mine for a kiss (never done that before), the grabbed the 'water play' card and signed I want...... all stuff I have been self teaching myself and him to do......
the lady left to visit another classroom and the case manger looked at e and said '' are you ok? you look like you are about to cry''
'' No I am not going to cry (here anyway, I do that on the way home) but why didn't you tell her we / my mate and the people who work with him know all she told us?''
''because she is new and she hasn't worked with him.....let her see him and then she can guide us...she is bringing someone else to guide her to guide us''
I spoke up...I never speak up......
why are you wasting her time and ours? my mate can do that we NEED him to be able to sit and WORK...he can tell us he wants water play, sandpit, toilet and everything else he needs too!!!!!!
I told her I'd make a sign for me '' I want (his picture) to sit down and work" she laughed, so did I or I would have lost it big time, I gathered my stuff and left shaking my head...
.......................................
on a post note I received a text from BB early yesterday, a year 9 girl had committed suicide on Wednesday, according to those who know, she told her mum she was unwell and mum let her stay home, she text her boyfriend she wouldn't be at school told him she loved him, then overdosed...... her mum and little brother found her after school....heartbreaking.....I ask why would a 14 year old think that was the only way? then I remember me and 14 and ''FRINGE'' lets leave that for another blog post....but I understand fully why...
hug your kids xx
The mentor program I am in has been really good for those "is it me?" moments. Sometimes, indeed, it IS me and sometimes it isn't. It's hard to separate the two but certainly asking the question, or having an opportunity to safely, confidentially, talk it through is really important. I hope you have that opportunity somewhere El.
ReplyDeleteWe got an email at work about the year 9 student at the high school. So terribly sad :( I am sure the school community will support her family. It is such a terribly shame she didn't feel she had that support herself :(