Day 1 and I need to remember I work a year with one teacher.....it isn't about building friendships it is about supporting students.....

Back at it

I realise for the first time I love my job...not just love my job for the good bits (like 10 weeks on 2 off)..these holidays I went into work 4 times, I did work at home because 'I WANTED TOO'....

I realised I am happy even sitting in an empty classroom doing nothing......

These holidays have been a shocker for me, I don't think there has been a day when someone else was in my house sleeping or someone who should have been here wasn't here..in other words it wasn't 3+1=4 it might have been 2+2=4 and that is different!!!! I love having people over I love knowing my boys feel the same way and open their hearts to others they let others in on many levels.. ;] xox

A1's girlfriend's family have drove me nuts....the mum 'ate' elsewhere ...the dad found out, she decided to take SS back to England to live with 5 days notice....nearly killed my boy..then changed her mind who the fuck does that???? so she went on Saturday night 3 days notice to her 3 kids and hubby....then I get a text asking if I can be the mum figure??? I'm here to help anyone but draw the line at playing games lets make that little gem clear from the get go....

DA's and his family are doing my head in big time..I realise Mother's Day is coming up.....SIL makes all the decisions on outing I am waiting for the details on Mothers Day...I am not will not attend so don't ask!!!!!!

Take the boys and add another knife to my heart and not even realise ...

details...

If I could sit with you curled up with a coffee or spread out with a wine I would tell you...

• I have another 'girls' only thing heavy and two weeks after the last one

• My sons girlfriend has just been told in 5 days she goes back to England to live, her and her mum her step dad and younger sister and brother WILL stay here....

• My doctor rushed an appointment for the two growths to be looked at.....

• he also found two spots that need biopsies today..I only went yesterday 

 

I want to go away and walk on the beach at sunset....sit and know the sun will rise the next day and I my loved ones and I will get through these trails

xox

service

B2 Has been away at Easterfest in Toowoomba he came home early in the year with an expression of interest form...I told him if he didn't want to do it then don't fill in the form!!! What would I know? he came home a few weeks later with the permission slip and a request for $50 to attend.

I get the whole need to serve thing it is my life vocation BUT B2 was born on Pancake Day, Christened on Easter Sunday with the brand new Holy Water and everything, something in my heart just said no!!! still I bought a new bag and blow up mattress for him and stocked his bag full of treats....

Each minute he was away was awful....I worried because I realised he didn't take a towel, or shampoo (this from a boy that takes two showers a day and has a hair cut every 4 weeks).

I checked my phone every 5 minutes waiting for a  text, when his GF put on FB I miss you I wrote I did too, a message came about a flat phone being charged and he misses her too...not me...!!!!!

Easter Sunday I went into his bedroom and slept for a few hours....I really missed him it was a special day in so many ways (others don't connect those dots but I do)

we headed to my mum and dad's for lunch and a working bee....the first thing Granny said was ''where is B2, he is the best worker?'' It was only then I stopped and thought, he is giving service to others, no he wont like it but there are many, many things in life we do that help another for no reward....I said '' he is giving service at Easterfest, B2 GIVING to others''.... and it was only then I stopped looking for the text..I knew he was fine, warmish, and so was I......

he wouldn't let me hug him at school but I did get one just before he jumped in the drivers seat (only a little bribe) he is happy, brown and is sleeping like a log.....

He did have a ball, he wants to go back next year not to serve but to be part of the crowd.....maybe, maybe NOT 

For your eyes only

Hi lovely ladies my fb status is a lie but I don't want the world to know.... there is something a little sinister inside my uterus I have to go to the gyno in May for further tests and surgery .


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FFS FO AM OVER IT ALL!!!!!

Where the fuck do i start..after reading Lee's post I am as fired up as all hell.....

I waited over an hour at the doctors, he is talking hysterectomies !!!!! RIGHT NOW!!!!! without doing tests if what I say is true....um yes 2 maybe 3 days a week I DONT bleed every other day yes and a week of heavy periods with clots the size of my fist!!!!!!plus BP of 160/110

My weekend starts with both girlfriends sleeping over...I have had the sex talk with both boys, both girls each couple separately and I bought condoms......my son is nearly 18 and the other one 16 with a 17 year old girlfriend..I am not stupid!!!!!

DA starts, what's for dinner? no Friday night YOU do it KFC for the kids YOU have done if for the last 10 weeks why ask me now...?????????

I needed to go back to work Saturday to clean up some mess I had left, they ALL wanted to come, two cars two learners....DA speaks very rudely to each one when he sits in the front!!!! short straw B1 gets him....they arrive both pissed and i am NOT picking sides DA gets mad B1 puts his foot down.....simply shut your mouth or think before you open it!!!! FFS

They love my classroom 1/2 class small everything, no one else at school best bit finding $5 note on the floor outside...!!! plus the school pool (no I don't have a key)

the we head to Coffee Club A1's girl is a little rough and has minimal manners, much to DA's disgust he corrects her all the time...(just her very Northern English upbringing) arrogant like him, he can't handle the competition!!!! B1's girlfriend thanks us for the free water pus everything else over and over!!!!

 DONT COMPARE CHILDREN YOURS OR ANYONE ELSE'S LIVE AND LET LIVE!!!!   

Then I got hay fever watery eyes, skin itches I go to bed...... Nana is at the house when I wake.....oh goodie....I go to the shop to buy a carton of XXXX, she pips up it's hers LIKE FUCK it is Nana...she gets that drunk over the afternoon she walks out of the bedroom naked to put her can in the bin......unbelievable..

the next morning she talks about Easter and how she is sleeping here Thursday Friday and we are ALL going to drop her off and staying for a feed with SIL NO WAY IN FUCKING HELL AM I GOING NO WAY!!!!!

So a lazy Sunday in bed I refuse to go anywhere I don't feel well end of story....BUT DA wanted to go to Masters to pay for the fridge so it can be delivered while I am on holidays...Masters is 2 minutes away but I go....chest pains and dizziness but who cares HE wants it now!!!!

I came home went back to bed....woke up had a shower and lemsip .....woke up again at 9 vomited everywhere, he has his face covered with the sheet saying if he smells it I will be cleaning up his sick as well!!!! another shower the quilt and everything else on the floor I was sick on goes in the bin......

I face the other way back in bed...up today for blood test and ultrasound Wednesday........

why does the thought of having my girls parts ripped out and a week in hospital sound so appealing...??

lets not start on MY family

16 days...

The last week has been manic.....I have BP of 110/160 bleeding everyday and a hubby I could put in the weelie bin.......
The 16 days are mine FO I am not going to the coast to drop Nana off...
go yourself I still hate them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!